Happy Blog Day to Me

Anxiety is not normal.

Depression is not normal.

Being in extreme pain every day is not normal. 

Loading your body with medication that is full of side effects IS NOT NORMAL!

Using Cannabis SHOULD be normal!

     Look at it from my view for a second, ok?  I am a 45 year old, middle class woman with 3 kids, 1 husband, 1 cat and 1 dog.  My oldest child has special needs and is a grown woman.  She is 26 with the mind of a 6 year old.  My middle is 21 and just about the BEST young man you could ever meet.  The youngest is 5.  Yes I said FIVE.  F-I-V-E.  Yes, I was 40 when I had her.  Yes, I know where babies come from and what to do not to have them.  YES!  She was an accident happy surprise.

     Just between my oldest and youngest, that is a lot to deal with.  Add day to day stress, money issues, family drama, and dealing with Lupus and it is A LOT. Add to that we were transitioning in to a new business this year which was absolutely TERRIFYING.

     I was diagnosed with Lupus exactly 3 years ago.  I had been on antidepressants for years, as well as meds that were supposed to help nerve pain, muscle relaxers, occasionally a steroid.  Thanks to the opiod crisis, they don't just hand out pain medication to who ever needs it any more.  You have to be practically terminal to be treated with a narcotic.  The best way I can describe the pain from lupus is like being eaten by a wolf.  Sharp teeth, ripping, bone deep pain.  And We are supposed to take Tylenol.  No NSAIDS or ibuprofen due to the risk of stomach bleeding. I will say one of my favorite things right here #fuckyoulupus and just leave it at that.  Just THINKING about the lack of availability of pain medication for people suffering when there is a very clear SOLUTION!           

     The solution was presented to me in the form of a brownie.  A sweet friend in a local mom group knew that I was having a lot of pain last winter and offered me a couple of weed brownies.  OK, so y'all don't know me yet. I am a MOMMY.  Even before I had my 5 year old I was pretty boring.  Didn't smoke as a teen because I preferred other things.  Didn't do it as an adult because I was a MOM.

     But I looked around me and everyone was doing it.  MOMS were doing it.  And it was OK!  The sky was staying right up there where it belonged.  So I said "yes please" to the brownies.  I ate half of one that night and I danced.  That morning my legs had hurt so bad that it hurt to walk. I was sold.

I still had 3 "doses" left but I decided then and there that I was going to learn to make my own.

    I found an easy enough recipe for cannabutter, got my hands on the ingredients and got to work.  I made chocolate chip cookies and they turned out Amazing Awesome Wonderful literally the best things ever! 

     At first I was just eating them for pain.  It was working!  I mean, the high was great, don't get me wrong but being able to move freely was better.  My husband started commenting on my mood.  I had a sex drive. I was playing in the floor with my kid! 3 months later I was off all of my medication and have been off for 7 months.  I no longer have to lay in bed for 20 minutes so that I can walk.  There is no inflammation in my body.  I am a Believer. 

     I watch these commercials for prescriptions that mask symptoms and see all of the side effects that they list.  Nofuckingthankyouuuuuu! But why are those ok and marijuana is not?  I am sure you know, but I will tell you anyway.  It is GREED.  I am all for making a dollar.  I am a Republican and I believe in free enterprise and that everyone should be able to make as much money as they can make legally and pay taxes on it, but this is wrong. 

     We aren't talking about business, we are talking about people's health!  Of course the pharmaceutical companies need to make a dollar, but they don't need to make ALL OF THE DOLLARS. I understand that it is going to be hard to tax and control, but I feel like there has to be a way to make it work.  It is too important.  

     My lupus attacked my gall bladder earlier this year and I was unable to eat for months.  I lost over 1/4 of my body weight.  Every anti nausea med that they gave me, I had a reaction to.  Literally the only way I could eat was to have one of my cookies a few hours before.  It was a miracle that I did not lose more weight and that miracle was....weed.   Did it make me a little high?  Absofuckinglutely.  Was I still able to function and parent effectively?  Of course!  

     Let's review.

Weed is awesome.

Greed fucking sucks.