Half Baked Mommy

Sorry guys, if you are reading, but its life and it happens..      Mother Nature decided to show her face unexpectedly this morning in a BIG way.  The great red tide, cramps, nausea, the wholefuckingshebang.  My Magic Snickerdoodles were a life saver.        Tomorrow is baking day, so that means tonight is spent making butter.   It is 1 am and I am almost done.  Finally. My little "Bug" is snoozing away next to me.  She is 5, and my shadow.  If I do it, she wants to do it.  It is both flattering and frustrating at the same time.       2 am found me in the jetted tub after eating a pretty good sized Mama's special cookie trying to wind down and lose the cramps. So many things go through the Mommy mind when the house is asleep and she is not.   Is the door locked? Cat and dog fed? Dishwasher loaded for morning? Lights out? Stove off?  Shit, what about my hair ...

Anxiety is not normal. Depression is not normal. Being in extreme pain every day is not normal.  Loading your body with medication that is full of side effects IS NOT NORMAL! Using Cannabis SHOULD be normal!      Look at it from my view for a second, ok?  I am a 45 year old, middle class woman with 3 kids, 1 husband, 1 cat and 1 dog.  My oldest child has special needs and is a grown woman.  She is 26 with the mind of a 6 year old.  My middle is 21 and just about the BEST young man you could ever meet.  The youngest is 5.  Yes I said FIVE.  F-I-V-E.  Yes, I was 40 when I had her.  Yes, I know where babies come from and what to do not to have them.  YES!  She was an accident   happy surprise.      Just between my oldest and youngest, that is a lot to deal with.  Add day to day stress, money issues, family drama, and dealing with Lupus and it is A LOT. Add to that we were tran...

Sometimes things just "click" in to place.  I was sitting here in my pink desk chair thinking about what I wanted to write about for a first post.  I had nothing. Well, that's not totally true, I had a million ideas but no one thing was jumping out at me. I sent the photo that I am using for my profile to my husband and he said "it's upside down." I said, "yes, I like it" and we lol'd. Then I was looking at memes and this one jumped out.  Good ol Wil put one and one together and made two! 2019 really flipped my life (and my family's) upside down.  We opened and closed a dream  business, had a HUGE falling out with family, we were forced unjustly from our home and moved to an entirely new state.  Our way of life was drastically changed.  I honestly do not think I would have made it through with this much of my sanity in tact if I had not started using cannabis this year.  ou see, I have lupus and started using it because of the pain a...